Land of the Lost

Anyone out there remember the Saturday morning TV show Land of the Lost? You know, the one with Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition, their raft falls down a waterfall, they get swallowed by a rift at the bottom opened by an extremely conveniently timed earthquake, go back in time, and end up in a world where dinosaurs, cavepeople, and Sleestaks coexist, though not so peacefully?

I was only about five or six when I started watching Land of the Lost, and the fuzzy bits I do remember included claymation dinosaurs, terrible 1970s lighting, and an annoying caveboy named Chaka, but, being five, I remember I was still fascinated.

I never thought I'd see the show again, but lo and behold, it's out on DVD. I discovered this when it popped up on my "Amazon.com recommends" page while I was buying a present for one of my brothers. Anyway, the link Amazon so kindly provided took me to the DVD for the third and final season. Now, the 1970s were not a decade of fine, edifying television by any means, but judging from the comments, the third season took LOTL beyond normal 70s kitsch and into the land of Saturday morning crap. The comments on Amazon give a pretty hilarious glimpse at the main plot points of the final season, in case you either want to relive your childhood or are younger than I am and have no clue what I'm talking about:

* The season starts off with the death of Rick Marshall, Will and Holly's father, who is conveniently replaced by an uncle wearing the same clothes. Says Shelley: "Rick Marshall is gone and we don't know why [actor] Spencer Milligan left the show. To explain his absence, a new horrendous theme song is introduced-- written by Wayne Osmond of the famed Osmond family--the song explains how during yet another earth quake, another time shift occurs. Rick is playing with the crystals in one of the pylons when the earthquake hits and he is sucked into a time doorway. Instead of chasing after him so they can at least be in the same time period as dear old dad, Will and Holly just stare and scream for their father."

* Even though Will and Holly have been in the Land of the Lost for three years, Colette points out, "Holly is somehow still wearing the same jeans and shirt she was lost in, in spite of the fact that she's a foot taller and developing a bosom. Months/years of running from dinosaurs and climbing rocks seems to have not worn any holes in the knees or made any stains on the shirt. I bet a lot of parents wish they could buy their kids an outfit like that."

* Colette also notes a last-ditch attempt by the writers to introduce some drama: "Apparently having exhausted their store of science-fiction ideas, fantasy elements are added. These include a fire-breathing dino, a two-headed dino, a unicorn, Medusa, the Flying Dutchman, etc. The Marshalls accept this all without so much as a 'What the heck?'"

* Brewzerr, however, appreciates one of the season's new fantastical creatures: "Torchy, the fire-breathing dinosaur who is without a doubt the biggest bad-ass in the land of the lost." Given that the other badasses were claymation dinosaurs, being the land's "biggest badass" was probably not hard.

* Another notable change occurs with the show's music. W. Smith notes that "in the tradition of Greg Brady, Will picks up a banjo made out of a cantolope and a stick and sings a few romantic folk songs every few episodes."

* Eric claims the season lost all logic, citing this example: "Holly, trapped in a frozen part of the Land of the Lost, complains repeatedly about how cold she is, but she never even rolls down her sleeves!"

* So should you buy or rent the third season, just for kicks? Not according to E. Baxter, who warns, "Wow, this [season] is awful. It's bad, but not in a fun nostalgic way, just bad."

* Adds John Q., "The show was always crap."