American Idol: Top 8 Women

TRACY: So, I don't have a lot of snark for the women, who were really great on Wednesday. What did you think, Troy?

TROY: The women were good--not as fantastic as they have been, but not totally cringeworthy. Try to scrounge up the snark within!

TRACY: I really like Jordin. She looks so comfortable on stage, and she has filled the happy little ping-pong ball void that AJ left behind. That said, I thought her rendition of "Heartbreaker" sounded like she was losing her breath, until the last note, which was so fab, I could barely stand it. I was stunned that she was in the bottom two last week and was happy to see her survive into the top 12. She deserves it.

TROY: Jordin slightly reminds me of America Ferrara, whom I really like. She just seems totally grateful to be there and has a rockin’ voice (except for the fact that I don’t think she should sing rock at all). “Heartbreaker” was just okay to me--nothing overly spectacular. However, I think she is definately one to watch out for. She has such a likability with talent to match.

TRACY: Exactly. My bitterness this week is reserved for Sabrina's untimely demise. That was sick and wrong, America. She has a great voice, she's pretty, and she chooses songs that aren't by Whitney, Celine, or Aretha--that alone had to count for something. But noooooooo. You had to kick her off. When Haley Scarnato is bleating some horrible Debby Boone ballad in the weeks to come, do not come crying to me. I'm just saying.

TROY: Agreed. I don’t get why America was hating on poor Sabrina. But did WE vote? No. We only have ourselves to blame!! Sorry Sabrina. You weren’t Tami Gosnell, but you had a great voice, attitude and look. Best of luck to you! You deserved better!

TRACY: "Put Your Records On" was a good song for Antonella, but her pitch was all over the place. And really, anyone who is dumb enough to let people take photos of her on the can (and allegedly make a naked calendar for her ex-boyfriend) just needs to go. I'm glad she went. (And a note to the producers: The demure top and the violin did not make the whole situation appear any less hootchie.)

TROY: The violin was so claaaaaassy! I totally respect Antonella now! Not.

I thought she had started out fine, but it just turned into a bleating mess. I almost feel bad for her (I said, ALMOST). She had a friend that sold her out and she just seems like a not-too-bright girl who was somehow tricked into beliving she could sing. It’s almost sad.

So...place your bets: which men’s magazine will Antonella pose for first? I say Maxim.

TRACY: Breaking news: I read that she turned down a lucrative offer from Girls Gone Wild. You have to respect her for that.

Haley. There are no words. Actually, there are five: Minnesota State Fair music tent.

TROY: I can do it in four: Random Lake Fireman’s Picnic.

TRACY: You win!

I can't BELIEVE she's in the Top 12. I actually feel sorry for her, despite her snarky little "I clock in; I clock out" comment on Wednesday. She's so out of her league, and she's only going to continue to get mean comments from the judges until some dork with a speed dial has the sense to stop the insanity and not vote for her anymore.

TROY: She’ll be gone faster than you can say Leah LaBelle. People just felt bad for her (or the votes were rigged). I honestly would rather have Antonella in the top 12, mainly for the trainwreck factor. Haley has no redeeming qualities--talent or trainwreckness. Apparently we’re missing out on something that other Americans have latched onto (and to those who have, please let go).

TRACY: Word.

Stephanie was great, if a little anonymous. I'm thinking since she and Sabrina both have amazing voices and quiet personalities, they may have split the vote between them.

TROY: Stephanie had the edge on Sabrina because she kneels when she sings. Kneeling = feeling the song. But I’ve always liked Stephanie. I just hope she doesn’t LaToya herself and can start showing more personality.

TRACY: Now you know I loves me some Lakisha, but American Idol needs to RETIRE "I Have Nothing." Sing the national anthem to it, hang its jersey on the wall, and look fondly upon it in perpetuity. But no matter how great your voice is (Lakisha!), that song is just getting old, people, and I'm tired. So very tired.

TROY: Idol needs to retire basically every Whitney Houston and Celine Dion song. It’s always meant to show their vocal range, but it usually does the opposite. Of course Lakisha sounded fine, but it was just boring! I’m actually waiting for Lakisha to do something more up-tempo and fun.

TRACY: OK, I loved Gina's look, and I loved how she rocked the stage. I'm glad to see her get her edge back. But singing Evanescence was a mistake--she doesn't have the chops. She totally gets the Tracy Busts a Vocal Cord Attempting Janis Joplin in the Shower award, because she was out of her league with that song. But she's starting to move in the right direction. You gotta wonder what she's going to do next week with Diana Ross, though....

TROY: Gina’s saving grace for next week is that HALEY is still in the competition and Gina has 100% more charisma in her pinky than Haley does in her entire body. Any Evanescence song is incredibly ambitious to sing because of Amy Lee’s range. Gina doesn’t have that range, so it became shouty and McKibbinish. It’s cool that she took on some more “edge” and honorable she did something contemporary and challenging. Totally intrigued to see what she pulls out this week.

TRACY: I totally heart Melinda--I think she's adorable, the whole "who, me?" thing (while it could get irritating later on) seems genuine, and her voice and her phrasing is AMAZING. She's so polished and professional, I can totally see her making it to the end. However, I wonder what kind of record she'd put out, since she keeps choosing older songs--can she bring it when it comes to contemporary music? We'll find out, but not this week, when the theme is Diana Ross....

TROY: I’m gonna get on a soap box and say that I actually hate the overuse of older songs on this show – 50s, 60s, and 70s. Mainly it is because that’s not the kind of music these contestants go on to record after this show. Fantasia’s “Hood Boi” sounds nothing like “Summertime.” Katharine McPhee’s “Over It” does not hold a candle to “Jailhouse Rock” or whatever she sang Elvis week. It’s fine to sing older songs, but you HAVE to throw in contemporary so we, the fans, don’t get bamboozled by you once you start recording your own music (Looking at you, Bo “The Real Trainwreck Thing” Bice)!

That said, Melinda is fantastic and I can’t wait to hear her sing something current.

TRACY: In the end, Antonella and Sabrina (*sob!*) got the boot for the women. I'm glad to see Antonella depart, if just to stop her EVIL ex-boyfriend from continuing to share his photo collection, but Sabrina's demise is an injustice of AJ Tabaldo proportions. I hope something good comes out of this for her.

TROY: If Lisa Tucker can get work, Sabrina should be able to find something. High School Musical 2, perhaps?

TRACY: As for the men, Jared and Sundance (and let the church say "Amen!") left the American Idol stage for good. I wholly agreed with Simon when he said Jared needed to work on his vocals and, I would add, stop vogue-ing into the camera. He did have a nice voice, but he was the right choice to go.

TROY: I don’t know why, but I actually think I liked Jared a bit better than Sanjaya, Chris Sligh and the Creepy Lightbulb. While slightly creepy himself, I felt Jared had some charisma that the others were missing. He does need training however. Maybe after another year he would have been a contender!

TRACY: Under normal circumstances, I would have said it's a shame that Sundance couldn't have stayed one more week instead of Sanjaya, but I think the Friends of Eddie Vedder and all aficionados of 90s alternative rock were obligated to deliver Mr. Head the smackdown after that aural abomination. The rule of the day is, unless you've got the voice of God when He spoke to Moses, you simply do not touch Pearl Jam.

TROY: Amen (even though I don’t worship Pearl Jam)!

TRACY: I loved that clip in the results show when Sundance told the camera something along the lines of "I don't think Simon had ever heard the song. That's how it's supposed to be sung." Yeah, if you're a singing GOAT being periodically electro-shocked, maybe.

TROY: In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Sundance again said that Simon didn’t understand the song and that he sang just as Eddie Vedder would have. Bitch, please.

TRACY: Excuse me. I have to go projectile vomit now.

All of that said, I do wish we could have seen him return to "Stormy Monday" form.

And by the way, who is voting for Sanjaya, anyway? The National Coalition for the Tone Deaf? He seems like a nice boy, but DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.

TROY: The Hula appreciation fan base?