The Pop Culture Personality Test

Entertainment Weekly often randomly picks a celebrity to answer their "Pop Culture Personality Test" in the magazine. I'm not a celebrity, but I thought I'd rip them off anyway by modifying their questions for writers on the blogosphere. So here it is, with apologies to EW:

1. My American Idol audition song would be: Dido's "White Flag"

2. If my life were a drinking game, everyone would do a shot when ... someone called me "Stacy."

3. The Rat Packer I most identify with is: a) Frank Sinatra b) Sammy Davis Jr. c) Dean Martin d) Peter Lawford
Probably b--I just wanna DANCE!

4. The first famous person I befriended: Hmmm. I guess that would be the first successful writer I met who didn't care that I was just a peon and not in her league--the wonderfully talented, USA-Today-bestselling Patti Berg.

5a. Choose one: A) Demi Moore in Ghost B) Demi Moore in StripteaseI choose C--Demi Moore in neither. I'm not a fan--anyone who needs an entire house for her doll collection is merely the person I'm going to blame when the Earth runs out of resources and can't yield any more doll plastic, thereby denying my daughters One. Measly. Doll. to play with. That woman is a walking environmental disaster.

5b) Choose one: A) Transformers B) G.I. Joe
I choose A) Transformers are way better. It's a robot! Now it's a car! Now it's a robot! Now it's a car! How cool is that?

6) What was your first concert? Billy Idol on the Rebel Yell tour. I had such a crush. (Hmmm. Forgot Billy Idol's Greatest Hits when I was discussing embarrassing CDs....)

7) Pick a Jessica: A) Alba B) Simpson C) Biel D) Tandy
ARGH! Tandy! Tandy! It's an insult to the memory of the great Jessica Tandy to put her in the same sentence with those Barbie bots.

8) If I had to gain 30 pounds for a role, I would eat:
Hmmmm. I might just forego the role. I mean, I have these giant pores near my nose that would probably look like the Sea of Tranquility on camera, and if I gained 30 pounds, I'm not sure I could get rid of it. It's all about maintenance, baby.

But let's say someone was holding a gun to my head and making me gain 30 pounds. Then, I would move into a Mulate's in New Orleans and alternate between the creamy crawfish pastas and the bread pudding. Mmmmm.

9) The first R-rated movie I saw: Poltergeist. At least, I think it was R-rated. I could have said The Blue Lagoon, but I don't think the "edited for TV" version counts.

10) You're stranded with your four favorite authors and you've run out of food. Who do you eat first?
Hmmm. Not Jane Austen, because I've always wondered what she could have accomplished had she lived longer. Not Willa Cather, because I admire her too much. Not Elinor Lipman, because I suspect she'd be a lot of fun in person, and someone has to entertain us so we don't eat each other too quickly. Not Katherine Neville, because I keep hearing rumors that a sequel to The Eight is in the works, and I'd want her to finish it. Not Karen Rose, because I've already made my way through most of her backlist. Maybe Jeffrey Deaver, because he's got quite an extensive backlist, and it would take me awhile to regret my actions, should the rest of us be rescued after Jeffrey's untimely demise.

11) My porn name (childhood pet name + street you grew up on) is: Bonita Walker

Feel free to steal--just let me know when your answers are up!