Saturday, September 24, 2005

Fernandina Shmi Skywalker Fernandez

As my friends and family, who have heard hours of endless complaining about my land-barge size and various aches and pains are all-too-aware, I'm currently pregnant with my second baby. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's just boredom, but I feel compelled to go off on a rant here, because if I hear that eternal question, "Have you thought of names?" one more time, I think my head just might explode. And that can't be good for the baby.

Can I just say how many times someone has asked me that, and when I've answered truthfully, responded in a way that would only be excusable from someone raised by wolves? And can I just say how many times that someone was a member of my own family, who were not, to the best of my knowledge, raised by wolves? Or even wild dogs, for that matter? People, the proper response is: "Oh. That's a nice name." Family, repeat after me: "Oh. That's a nice name."

Seeing as this is daughter #2, we've circumvented the entire name question-answer dance--and the invariable ensuing pregnancy rage that accompanies it--by simply responding that we are naming our child Fernandina Shmi Skywalker Fernandez.

And yes, there is one person out there, a member of one of our families, who thought we were serious. For all I know, she still thinks that, since all I could do was blink stupidly in the face of her earnest "Really? Are you sure?"

Just for fun, here are the top responses to a few of our potential names for our first daughter, Maggie Rose, shot down without mercy before we could even decide ourselves whether we loved them or not. As for the responsible parties (*cough* Tommy *cough*), you know who you are:

1) "Delaney? Sounds like a stripper."

2) "Delaney? Huh. I think you should name her Molly."

3) [Delivered in a slightly panicked Spanish accent, with a rolling R]: "HARRRRRRRper?! HAAAARRRRRRper??? What is a HARRRRper?"

4) "Rowan reminds me of Rowan Atkinson."

5) "Rowan? Like Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-in?"

6) "Brooke Shields just named her kid Rowan, so now you can’t."

7) "HARRRRRRper?!"
(Me: "It’s like Harper Lee, who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird, Mom.")
"Well, I like Gregory Peck, but HARRRRRper?"

8) "Yeah, weird names are coming back in style now."

9) "Um. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Do you have any other choices?"

10) "Why don't you just name the kid Nerd?"

The scary thing is, Shmi is starting to sound kind of cute....

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Tracy Montoya writes romantic suspense for Harlequin Intrigue.

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